Been away for a long time....

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1vViTMfQo2o

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Well, you first gotta understand that this chicken had a hard childhood. His father left when he had yet to hatch. His mother looked after him for a few years, but she was a druggie and didn’t do that great a job. Eventually she sold him into slavery in exchange for a hit.

For a few years he worked as a slave laborer on a farm just north of the border. The man who owned the farm was about as cruel and sadistic as they get, but to all outward appearances he was the model of virtue and a pillar of the community, so nobody suspected that he had seventy slave chickens working for him.

Eventually this chicken snapped and murdered the farm owner by pecking open his jugular vein. He left the farm. Shortly after the owner’s family found out who killed him and put up a one million dollar bounty, payable to whoever found, tortured and killed the chicken. Fearing for his life, the chicken headed up north.

He fell in with the chicken mafia, and worked as a hitchicken and general muscle for a few years. He slowly earned enough money to rent a house and get established, although he had to keep his head down to avoid getting noticed. He met a nice hen, and they started dating.

Now, the chicken was getting tired of killing other chickens for a living. He’d been attending classes part time, and had been told by his teachers that he was real smart. They wanted to give him a scholarship to go to college overseas, even.

That never worked out, however. The chicken’s girlfriend got pregnant, and he decided to stay in the country to care for the resulting chicks. He tried to quit the mafia. His bosses were not very pleased about his decision, and told him it would be a shame if anything bad happened to his family. The chicken bought a strong lock for his apartment, although he still constantly worried about his family. The chicken got a job in an office. It was mind-numbingly boring, but it paid the bills and didn’t involve killing anyone.

Two years later the chicken got two strokes of bad luck. Firstly, the company was going through hard times and had decided to lay him off. Secondly, he had developed severe respiratory problems; the doctor said it had something to do with exposure to agricultural chemicals from his days as a slave. When he went home to tell his wife the bad news, he found she wasn’t there. She had taken the children and left to be with another chicken.

Well, the chicken went out and got good and drunk that night. He was standing outside a bar, watching the cars streak across the nearby highway, when he thought that it would be good to die. He didn’t have much to live for, and his life insurance policy would help his kids more than he ever could now. His death had to look like an accident, though.

The highway! That was it! He would get run over, and be “accidentally” killed.

The chicken staggered out over the road, trying to position himself in front of the largest vehicle possible. They swerved around him, furiously honking their horns and yelling obscenities at him. The chicken staggered on, and before he realized it he’d crossed the road and had reached the other side.

The chicken still wasn’t dead, however. He slumped to the ground, weeping bitter tears.

Art

📝

Art is like a vanilla sponge cake...

You eat it, then?

No, it's easy to make and boring afterwards.

What about the jam?

Depends what type of jam.

STRAWBERRY!!!

Then it looks good on the outside, but in reality it is sickly sweet.

And the icing on top?

There isn't any.

Oh.

Spring, Summer, Autumn and Winter

Cool

Dude, you wish

The Roses are Wilted, The Violets are Dead

Roses are red, violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet, and perhaps so are you.
But the roses are wilted, the violets are dead,
The sugar bowl's empty, your wrists are stained red.

The sun isn't shining, the sky isn't clear,
There's no silver lining cause you're no longer here.
Rain keeps on pouring, there's no end in sight,
You're lying there frozen, so far from the light.

You're beauty's unreal, your smile is the sun,
But time can't be turned or your actions undone.
The words that you wrote, that only I read,
"I love you so much, please don't cry when I'm dead."

A bond that we formed, a love that ran deep,
A pain that we shared, a friend I could keep.
I wanted to hold you, wipe tears from your eyes,
Been there the moment you had said goodbye.

I want to forget, but most times I don't,
I want to let go, but I know that I won't.
The tears on my face, memories burned in my head,
The roses are wilted, the violets are dead.